Tuesday, December 22, 2015

4.5 months into TSW

I'm here at the 4.5 month mark. I didn't think i would make it this far, it seemed like such a long time when i had just started out. This is a very tough journey, I have certainly healed a lot from the first two months but there is much more to go. I can now function much more normally and this makes it so much easier with the children.
I am still covered in this strange split, broken and red inflamed skin. The past month my ankles have taken a battering and have been so extremely bad. They are swollen, red, weeping and very dry. It's crazy just passing each day and not actually doing anything to my skin to bring healing. I can only bath in certain things and put some zinc cream on sometimes that seems to help a bit. I have tried going to the pool to see if the chlorine helps and also to the beach so the salt water can kill the infection. My ankles were so bad they began throbbing so i went to a doctor recently and she was a little shocked at their state so i have been on antibiotics for the past 10 days. I have now stopped and they seem as bad as they were before i started the course of them. I have just been applying zinc and bandaging them so hopefully that helps.

My face has been pretty good lately with only a little bit on my lip and chin area but  can wear light makeup which has been so great as i feel so much more confident when i can show my face. My neck is healing well also and just gets red and itchy occasionally but i don't have to wear scarfs to cover it so that's an improvement.

I have been feeling so extremely tired so had some bloods done and my iron level is very low so i have started on iron and vitamin c which has been making a huge difference.

My hands have been healin up well and are mostly just cracked around my knuckle area now but the red sleeve look seems to have subsided a bit.

The worst is the itch! Oh my gosh the itch, it brings me to tears often, gets me out of bed multiple times a night, terrorises me constantly. It is the worst feeling ever and I often find myself in the midst of tearing my skin apart praying desperately for the itch to stop. It is so consuming and the only relief is scratching my skin. I know its a terrible cycle and once started its very hard to stop. I am sure healing would be much faster if the itch was not there.

Lord please bring healing swiftly from this horrible addiction that i plaguing my body. I just can't do it anymore but there is no way out but forward drug free. I will continue as i know that this is the answer but far out it's tough.

I have been trying to stick to my crazy diet of no wheat, dairy, yeast, almonds, grains, cows milk and more. It's hard to say the least as it is very restrictive and not being able to munch on a cracker or piece of bread is actually really tough. I have lost so much weight, 15 kg now as there is just so little food to snack on unless i do a big cook up which is time consuming with the kids. Im down to 52kg now which is the lightest i have been since i was an early teenager.

Christmas is here and so is the heat. I am praying for some reprieve and that this would be an enjoyable season.


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